Monday, 14 April 2014

How To Win SONU Elections Like Babu Owino

It is Wednesday morning and Babu Owino and his colleagues are busy preparing for the forthcoming SONU student politics election. It is a routine activity, but Babu, a Law student, is seeking to make history. He wants to lead SONU for a second term.

But he knows pretty well the hurdles that lie a head of his quest. For example he knows that he needs to spend over Ksh1,000,000 for posters, campaign trucks, goons and security.

Babu Owino in recent SONU Campaigns
Well, that is exactly what you have to do to convince a good number of campus students to vote you in. And in return, you are given a Ksh40,000,000 (40 million) kitty to manage; all by yourself! Today we are going to talk about how to vie and win in SONU elections. Here are 5 important take-home points.

Grassroot Support

First things first, you need to get a good number of first year students talking about you. Since most freshmen at the University of Nairobi reside in Hall 5 (Elgon) and PREFABS, you need to pay them a visit on a regular basis especially after classes.

Of course, it would be inappropriate to visit them empty-handed. So, remember to carry some liquor or milk with you as a “gift” to them.

Once you register your presence in these two hot-spots (Hall 5 and PREFABS), the next important thing to do is to establish yourself as an authority in social media.

Get a group of students to talk about you on “Comrades Forum” and “New Comrades Forum”. Once this is done successfully, you’re 20% sure of winning your chosen seat.

Hefty Budget

You cannot win SONU politics on a shoe-string budget. Therefore, you need to mobilize all your assets towards this course. You may want to sweet-talk some politicians to fund your campaign. Besides that, you can ask your friends to help you raise funds.

Whichever the case, don’t and again I say, don’t borrow a loan to vie. No matter how assured of winning you are, you’ll want to seek other methods of funding but not a bank loan.  Click here to discover some other ways to raise money.

Akatch Jim's Campaign Machinery
To succeed as a chairman you need 1.5+ million Ksh. Secretary Generals need 1+ million. Below is a breakdown of a typical SONU aspirant’s budget.

  • Goons and Campus Entrance Fee – Ksh200000
  • Trucks and Car Hire – Ksh200000
  • Campaign Posters and Fliers – Ksh200000
  • Liquor and “Gifts” – Ksh100000
  • Miscellaneous – Ksh100000

That adds up to a total of Ksh 1.2 million. And that is just a blind estimate.

Macho Men (Goons)

Goons are not bad men per sey. They are here to protect you and guard your posters. But you first need to gain their acceptance – and this is not gotten empty handedly. So you need to talk to the right pack of goons, convince them about your aspirations and of course  give them a “gift”. Each campus has its fair share of goons. 

You won’t be able to campaign in a single campus if you don’t talk to the goons manning that campus first. Likewise, you’ll not be able to pin your posters if you don’t talk to the goons (sometimes known as wisemen) first. So, how do you get a good number of goons to become part of your campaign machinery?

(a)Meet with the pack-leaders and talk to them “nicely”

(b)Don’t be arrogant to them no matter how rich or well connected you are

(c)Hire a minimum of 5 goons to be part of your security detail.

High Quality Posters

They say a picture is worth 1000 words. And yes a SONU poster is worth 1000+ words. Make sure you have your campaign poster designed and printed well. Don’t take shortcuts with this. Even if it means importing some supplies from as far as China to get high quality posters made for you, nothing beats a good poster in SONU politics. 

SoNu Elections 2014
Captain Denno's High Quality Posters
Also, be sure to take a nice photo to complement the quality of your poster. Photoshop and a bit of make-up will come in handy in this case.

Like I know of a good number of female aspirants who have made it to SONU just because they looked gorgeous on their posters (though some are not as good looking in reality).

Trucks and Savvy Cars

Lastly, you need to have an arsenal of motor vehicles to spread the “good word” from campus to campus. As you can see in the picture next to this post, one of the aspirants in the recently concluded SONU elections used a Toyota Prado to campaign.

SoNu Elections 2014
Display Of Might
Note that, you need several vehilces (not just one); a 10-wheeler truck, 5 saloon cars and 1 SUV. And as you know, where there are good cars, there are nice ladies as well…so don’t forget to get a team of gorgeous looking ladies wearing your t-shirts to grace your motorcade.

That is it for today guys. Kindly click here to share this article with your buddies who would like to vie for SONU positions come April 2015.

In the meantime here is the list of some students who used this formula to win SONU seats in 2014:

Babu Owino – Chairman

Irene Kendi – Vice Chairman

Akatch Jim – Secretary General

Linda Guantai – Secretary Finance

Captain Denno - Sports and Entertainment


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